Don't Move A Muscle For Thought Activated Television Is On It's Way

For the ultimate in laziness, why not have a colourful and heavy device strapped to your head so that from now on, you can change the channel on your TV just by thinking about it

It is the invention that couch potatoes have yearned for ever since the television was invented. The extremist of these beings will tell you sure enough that to lift a finger and push down on a button on the remote control is seriously hard work. It can damage your fingers, nails and just about any muscle in your body to have to work under such conditions...(?)

So, our friends in Japan have answered the potatoes calling and produced a device that will not just look similar to a crash helmet dipped in paint but will help make those precious fingers and nails just that little bit more safe.

Eastern scientists at the forward thinking Hitachi empire have already sorted out how to embrace the power of thought - illusionists have been doing it for years, so it wasn't very hard for the men in white coats to come up with the technical version. So far, by using this strange device which resembles something out of Dr Strangelove, a toy train can be moved, along with the helping hand of lots of different coloured wires and a near by electrical socket.

They say, it is only matter of time and some more money, that they will be able to transfer that power to change the channel on an ordinary TV.

It is known as optical topography and it can literally read minds - that is to say, it is a hypersensitive piece of equipment which can measure the blood flow to various ares of the brain which is triggered by a thought or an imagine in our minds.

As well as deciding how much blood flows to create a physical reaction of a thought in the mind, the device sends tiny infrared lights into the brain which travel along optical fibres to a computer which then records the actions taken by the brain - the thoughts.

All the computer is doing is decoding a signal from the brain. Each certain signal will determine which channel the person is thinking of, thus the computer will read that code as a certain channel and change it on command from the brain.

Yet, joking aside, this ingenious piece of technology will not only allow people never to get off the sofa again, but computer keyboards will work in the same way. We will be able to think text and have it appear on a screen in front of us.

The real clever bit is that severely physically handicapped people who do not have the ability to communicate by any other means will be able to 'talk' to the outside world. We will be able to know what they want, how they feel and what they think...

Now, that's clever....