The Man, The Myth And The Meatloaf - The Old Bat Out Of Hell Strikes For The Third Time

The record breaking enigma has returned to enlighten us with the next exciting instalment in the adventure entitled, ‘Bat Out Of Hell.’ Delightfully naming this episode, ‘The Monster’s Loose,’ the Loaf allows us to drum up the right kind of Meat mood before entering the vault of ear drum bleeding, nightmare enticing and bone shuddering rock.

Since shedding his signature long hair and frilly shirt, the chubby man of rock and roll has entered a period in his life where he now resembles a South Western train driver rather than a God like legend in music. It is in no doubt at all that this being approaching his sixtieth birthday can still cut the vinyl, yet the entertainment value since the first in the trilogy nearly 30 years ago has all but faded away. If what you would like to expect is Meat in the days of sweaty duets with Cher and a clean lacy hankie tucked around his little finger, I’m afraid you will be gravely disappointed. He has aged, or at least, let’s say, matured to the point beyond recognition. His music, dare I say, is still very much in the time of the first BOOH, but there seems to be something missing, to us something’s who remember the first incredible album way back in 1977.

Perhaps it is being declared bankrupt once too many times that his smoothed away his edge almost as if he has been involved in a terrible accident circular saw. Then again, we should admire any great rock artist with mounds of credibility to successfully pull off a dire Celine Dion track, ’It’s All Coming Back To Me Now,’ and make it his own. This mediocre love song of epic proportions should have been recorded by Meatie first. Given the soft rock kiss of life, he has turned it into a masterful piece of sickly rock mush that can only be allowed if your name starts with Meat and ends in Loaf. I do, however, wonder about the choice of female content. I applaud Miss Raven for her ability not to be upstaged by the only man who could ever out shout Cher, but her approach on this track is more the whimsical attributes of that girl from Deacon Blue than a woman with Bonnie Tyler vocals.

We know, from previous experience that Mr Loaf is the master of track titles. It is the greatest gift any artist can have. Despite the tracks all written by old Velcro-ed veteran Jim Steinman as well as a whole host of ’who the hell are they’s?’ These titles would have been wasted on anyone else. We can forgive them for presenting us with such ditties as ’In The Land Of The Pig, The Butcher Is King,’ and ’The Future Ain’t What It Used To Be,’ but if it weren’t for these amusing titles, we would never been able to experience the sounds and smells of an over weight, desperate, heart attack inducing rock love machine who seemed to attract the most beautiful women in the world for no apparent reason.

The sheer angst of ’Cry Over Me,’ is almost too much to bear and I start to wonder what sort of audience who Meat Loaf is trying to appeal to nowadays. I guess the first niche who springs to mind is us thirty/forty something’s who adored (and were young enough to) the first 77 hit, but I wonder who else. For the want of making better sense, he is now too much ‘rock’ for even metal fans to enjoy. We don’t want to hear him still in pain from a broken heart thirty years after the first. What we probably want to do is actually dig out the first anthem and listen to that instead.

The disorganised collection of wailing guitars featured in ‘In The Land Of The Pig…’ somehow needs to be categorised but I don’t know where. It’s evil, thunderous and shows Mr Loaf in a truly bad mood. Who ever cut him up at the lights on the way to the studio that day surely gets to feel the wrath of Meatie throughout this track. If this song isn’t the one that brings on an angina attack on stage then I don’t know what will. What I did feel was a come back to the good old days of ‘Modern Girl,’ was the middle of the album track ‘Alive.’ (It would seem that on every album, the middle track is always the best, no matter what artist of what genre, try it out) In this track, we feel the same climbing a mountain severity but in Loaf style. It is complete with ELO sounding backing vocals and crescendos of cymbals and drums. Enter Cher, it’s your moment girl. If we close our eyes for a brief moment, we can see him, hair over face and in need of an ambulance. In ‘Alive,’ he proves to us with out a doubt that that Meat Loaf we loved then, it still, very much alive.

It is not long before we are plunged back into suicidal mode in ‘If God Could Talk,’ (which I’m sure given half the chance, he would, but he seems to be constantly gagged these days.) In this simple, leg waving rock ballad, he gives us such soul destroying lines as ‘…don’t look back at all the memories, the best of times, the mess you made of me…’ (it brings back a whole string of ex boyfriends to me) so don’t be surprised if you find your mind wondering back to all the hearts you broke in your youth. It’s best to have a Girls Aloud album on standby just in case…

In the best Meat Loaf tradition, there is nothing here that will remind you of anyone else on a musical scale. Creating a genre all of his own thirty years ago, we still can’t pigeon hole him in anywhere. In ‘If It Ain’t Broke, Break It,’ he appears to be throwing together a whole host of trumpets, funky beats and distorted vocals (taking a leaf out of Cher’s book here) but there is one thing I would like to mention here My Loaf, only Billy Idol could get away with Cyberpunk. It’s best to leave genres where you left them, let alone chuck a dozen of them up in the air and see where they land. There’s a great danger here of Meat Loaf sounding more like a desperate Tom Jones trying to keep up with a generation young enough to be his grandchildren.

The fair Patti Russo makes a welcoming appearance in ‘What About Love,’ which is a quick return to sweats ville again, which is warmly groped. It’s pretty and tuneful and even features tinkling bells and notes on a piano that we’ve heard of. A magical piece that takes us straight back to the days of Meat Loaf resembling Jack Black’s twin brother (if he had one)…

What is unmistakeable about this album is it’s epic scale. It’s grander than the Dorchester Hotel and more significant than Prince Williams passing out parade, feel the tingles run up and down your arm hairs and feel glad to have ears. Even though there are some tracks that let not just Meat Loaf down but the entire human race, there will be some hidden surprises to look forward to. It is these little pieces of strange quality that will allow you to breath a sigh of relief. Mr Loaf is all right, he is just having a bad shirt day…

There isn’t anything, however, that gives out the ‘turn it up,’ factor even though those words are seen on the last page of the inner sleeve before the credits (..I’d like to thank my Goldfish…) There will be moments when the skip button will be pushed. I wonder if Meat Loaf has come to the end of this mammoth sized adventure. I hope, for his sake, he doesn’t do anything more here and moves onto something else. When you look back at some of the great records he has produced over the years, it isn’t’ hard to see that he has probably had his day. This whole feature length saga of the heart and soul of Mr Loaf that has been presented to us as ‘Bat Out Of Hell,’ has been a joy and a pain. We have danced, laughed and cried more times than we care to remember at each passing track like a scene in a beloved movie, after all, there isn’t many records that come complete with it’s own epilogue, which brings be round in full circle, and it’s this minor track ‘Cry To Heaven,’ that we witness perhaps the very final closing moments of this thirty year long story. It’s Celtic manner is calming and serene. Angelic voices sing softly, lulling the listener to sleep. Perhaps the very point of this track is it’s title. No more Hell for the Loaf, he’s on his way to the white and pink fluffy clouds at long last…(in the story that is, not in real life!)

Here we end the brain draining, Earth shattering journey in which we haven’t got a clue how it started off in the first place, yet it doesn’t matter. Mr Loaf is okay now….


Tracks include;

The Monster Is Loose
Blind As A Bat
It’s Al Coming Back To Me Now
Bad For Good
Cry Over Me
In The Land Of The Pig, The Butcher Is King
Monstro
Alive
If God Could Talk
If It Ain’t Broke Break It
What About Love
Seize The Night
The Future Ain’t What It Used To Be
Cry To Heaven

www.meatloaf.net

Mercury records Ltd
©m.duffy (sam1942 and Planet Janet) 2006
Bought at Tesoc’s- £9
HMV- £8.99 delivered
Virgin- £8.99 despatched

pictures from www.wikipedia.org