I'm A Brit So Make Me A Star!

In the UK, we are nuts about reality shows, and it can only get worse. It is official, in Britain we vote in our millions on TV shows, far more than in a political election The Travel Guide gives any new visitor to our funny looking country a definitive insight as to the workings of the British mind, and it doesn't get any more brutal than this; we prefer reality TV shows to who ever is running the country. In fact, we will more than happily launch our bulldog bodies towards the telephone and vote off our least favourite celebrity stuck in a Australian jungle than walk to our nearest polling station and vote for the next Prime Minister. Has the Land of Hope and Glory really become that fickle?

Well, according to the Lonely Planet's guide to Great Britain, that's exactly what has happened and for any alien life form who dares to beam down into the centre of Birmingham, that's what they are going to see - thousands of Brummies glued to the goggle box awaiting the final results of who will be dunked into a vat of green goo.

We wonder, when putting down our cups of Earl Grey and ruffle the Evening Standard what the rest of the world has to say about this revelation. Not that we really need reminding what Europe thinks of us, we have the Eurovision Song Contest annually to do that. So what else is on the 'Watch Out For Overseas Anglo's?' Well, we are equally in dire need for the delights of fast food, according to the same irritatingly good book. We love our junk food and think of nothing else than to poke fun at those who are staying healthy on lettuce and carrots. (Hang on, that sound's like my pet rabbit..?)

However, it also gives the rest of the world the idea that we don't actually sit down. The reason why we love junk food and ready meals so much is not because we are a lazy nation of good for nothings (there are many countries who would disagree here,) it is because we work too hard and don't spend enough time on ourselves and too much time on others. (There had to be a good point in there somewhere.) informs overseas visitors that citizens also eat more junk food and ready meals than the rest of Europe put together.

So we are, deep down, nice people. Honest. Yet what do we have to offer as soon as anyone lands here? According to the book, Cardiff is 'the epitome of cool.' (written no doubt, by someone who has never been,) and Newcastle has been described as having nightlife that is 'wild and crazy'
which is true to a point: it is not advisable to go around too late without the aid of something or someone to protect you.

Yet on a serious note, the bombings in 2005 did effect us to the point of World War Two all over again. We would have dug our own trenches, rolled up our sleeves and resurrected Dame Vera Lynn and kept out shores clean and safe from terror knocking on our doors again. We had just decided to head for the conviences of life. It doesn't mean to say we have lost the nerve to guard ourselves with dignity. Although the book states that our desire to take an interest in politics has certainly sen better days. We care for our Saturday night TV because we can rely on it to be there for us. It is as simple as that. Politicians? We only love them if we can vote them off...

So, in conclusion, we have found out to our dismay that we are a nation who has,

"a symptom of ever-growing obsession will fame and celebrity".


We don't just want our celebs to burn in Hell on a reality TV show, but we have to read about them too. We love to gossip about such stars as if we know them personally, and these 'celebs' can be just about anyone. You don't have to have a talent to become a God or Goddess overnight, according to the book,

"even though their 'celebrity' status is based on little more than the ability to sing a jolly tune, look good in tight trousers or kick a ball in the right direction"


So, just give me my 15 minutes of fame and I'll be happy. Give me David Beckhams legs, John Lennon's head and a tuneless voice and I'll be dancing around a desert island for my supper, hoping no one will want to vote me off...



©m.duffy (Planet Janet)