It's A Bitch Convincing People To Like You...

Suitably camp and beautifully adjusting to life in the B52’s lane, the Scissor Sisters have quite simply squeezed into the most teasingly unconventional gap in the musical market before anyone else had dared to spot it. They are glamorous and extravagant in show, yet on the quiet, they appear to be a visual fusion between The Primitives and Alien Ant Farm. In regards to the impact they have on this mere mortal is that stranger than strange X factor feel. On one hand, I shall, unfortunately, forever remember Eton Road’s second to last flopped attempt to stay in the competition by covering ‘I Don’t Feel Like Dancing,’ (in which I feel Anthony could have made a successful career out of being the next member of the Scissor Sisters) and again, on visual appearance, they rather remind me of that oddly shaped group that went out on the first show…‘The Unavoidables’ or who ever they were. It was this song and the first on the ‘Ta - Dah’ album that shot to number 1 over here in September this year. This album was released only eight days later, a shrewd move considering the track was still sitting at number one, so consequently, everyone rushed out to get it. The public weren’t going to hang about on purchasing the second album by a band who played instruments, were made up of boys AND a girl and actually wrote their own songs, a feat in anyone’s charts nowadays…

This bunch of not so oddly shaped Earthlings came from somewhere out of the campest clubs of New York City around 2001. Capturing the glam scene of all that was glitter boots and heavy eyeliner, the Scissor Sisters (of which, neither are actually sisters) have certainly taken their adequacies of being a pop/disco band and adding all the colour and flamboyance of Moulin Rouge and Barnum, thus creating the strangest of sounds, lyrics and at the same time, regenerating some themes of some pretty dire groups gone by. Racy and Matchbox spring to mind…

Taking the most incredibly delightful personal names, these people, who all look as though they should go out and get themselves decent jobs, are a blessed relief due to the fact that it’s fairly obvious to the untrained eye, they are not kids. They do, however, playfully tease us with their takes on alternative themes and fresh new sounds. The disco feel is strong in their most popular track in their career so far, ‘I Don’t Feel Like Dancing.’ It is complete with lazar sounds not unlike the stuff that lived comfortably on a Donna Summer record. They may appear fun loving and on the list of a children’s disco CD along side The Tweenies and that hideous song from Lazy Town, but don’t be fooled, their hidden meanings go further down to a more adult level. Naively, we may fail to notice that their band name comes from a lesbian position, and on the members initial meeting at a fancy dress gig, two of them had come as late term abortions; I shall leave that up to your imagination to conger up an image of what ever that is…

Various other members were found through ads in local New York papers at the same time vocal song writer gave up his job as a stripper in a gay club. (Still want that cd for little petal’s seventh birthday party?) No matter, one can’t get away from the exuberance of this band. They are intriguing and enticing to the mind, even though some of their tracks are too much like ‘The Scaffold,’ and Gilbert O’Sullivan, we can get over those tracks. ‘I Can’t Decide,’ is almost the question that they asked on the particular genre of this track. It’s too ‘When I’m 64,’ mixed in with a Mud B side. The honky tonk piano perhaps should only be left up to Elton John in his more madder moments. However, it still shows, in it’s complete absurdity the wackiness of this hyper glam band. It shows to us how they are simply not afraid to delve into certain styles that we dared not ever play again. Strangely it was Elton John that collaborated with them on ‘I Don’t Feel Like Dancing.’

It is almost unbelievable to think that such tracks as ‘Lights’ were actually recorded only last year, they sound that old. The funkiness of this track can only be created by a handful of white guys in larger than life shades and some black dudes with lamp shade designed Afro’s. This is disco how we remember it and it surprisingly sounds fresher than before. If you’re not strutting your stuff by the end of this track, you don’t have a pulse. In the same vein, the Goldfrapp imitation of ‘Kiss You Off,’ gives the sinister slant to the album where Ana takes the lead vocal. The glam disco feel is still just as strong and so is the idea of the flamboyance of this band. Their inspirational edge on something that is regarded as dated and dusty is giving that sparkle back into those awfully embarrassing office parties that we have to endure (mine is imminent). The ‘Night Fever,’ styled song is probably enough to get the David Brent’s of this world up and throwing themselves around. You will find track after track of sheer disco brilliance. I wonder perhaps if this was what Madonna was after when she had the idea of ‘Confessions On A Dance floor.’ On this album it works and somehow Madonna’s album of this year didn’t work. I guess what they should have done is swapped titles. It is in the very middle of this album we get to feel the strong resemblance between the song writing talents of the band and their mentors, eighties Bouffant hair babes, B52’s.

Yet they also conger up a great amount of depth in ‘Land Of A Thousand Words.’ The mood is taken right down to Velvet Underground level and the mood evolves around a Lou Reed styled vocal. It’s deep and meaningful with swathes of violins and soft, swamping backing vocals. A track to sway your legs to, if you feel the need. A suitable interval for this album, and although this was a hit for the band, I didn’t think it truly has a place on here. They could have quite have easily continued the party theme right the way through and held it together without the whole disco idea being too in the listeners face and ears.

What also appears on this album is a bonus track of no importance. It’s Gary Numan creepy and probably doesn’t suit the album as it should perhaps be better for Robbie Williams when he is having one of his Bipolar days. It’s feeling is too metal (if at all) and was recorded on a day when all their glitter Spandex was in the wash. It doesn’t fit, and yes, it shows the diversity of this band, but it’s a style that doesn’t suit the ears. So, I guess on a lighter note, we can be grateful for the ‘Voice Of The Beehive,’ Barbie themed ‘Paul McCartney’ which is a tribute to the music of this great man who should have signed a pre nuptial agreement (never mind Paul, you know for next time)


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Taking that opened throated sound from the BeeGees and mixing it with Madonna ‘dance floor,’ beats, they have managed to avoid being laughed at and listened to seriously. One is almost quite eager to see them continue their sequenced existence, giving George Michael great waves of jealously (damn! I wish I could have dressed like that!) If of nothing else, anyone who can successfully bring back Spandex isn’t all bad. Looking at them admiringly now, even with the one who looks like Graham Norton in shimmering silk and lip gloss, it is no wonder that their audience is predominately people in their thirties and forties. I personally welcome them. They take me back to days of Lionel Blair’s, Les from Bay City Rollers and The Sweet. Arh! Good days!


So now, we can gather up in our arms all those outfits from the attic, we can brush down our Elvis ‘Vegas’ suits and Car Wash wigs and enjoy glam rock and the art of disco. The Scissor Sisters have brought it all back. So let’s go unconventional and uninhibited into the night. The dance floor belongs to us 30 something’s, yet again…



Ditties included;

I Don’t Feel Like Dancing
She’s My Man
I Can’t Decide
Lights
Land Of A Thousand Words
Intermission
Kiss You Off
OOH
Paul McCartney
The Other Side
Might Tell You Tonight
Everybody Wants The Same Thing
Transistor *

(*Bonus track)

HMV £10.95 (ripped off, should have gone to Tesco’s.)
Polydor Records 2006.
They will be touring Europe from 7 April 2007

www.scissorsisters.com.




Scissors Sisters are;

Jake Shears - vocals
Baby daddy - bass guitar/keyboards
Ana Matronic - Mistress of Ceremonies vocals and percussion
Del Marquis - lead guitar
Paddy Boom - drums (it is thought)

(and no one else who had a silly enough name to join)



©m.duffy 2006